Ska jag tro på ditt agerande eller dina signaler? Dom säger emot varan. Vet du det? Fattar du hur mycket allt betyder för mig? Jag skulle inte tro det. Då skulle du aldrig göra såhär mot mig. Det vet jag, för jag tror på dina signaler. Vet du hur mycket jag förstår bara av att titta på dig? Såklart jag vet. Jag har iakttagit dig länge nog att kunna läsa dina signaler. Och dom säger mig allt annat än hur du agerar.

You know I know.

Jag har skrivit klart en bokrecention på engelska.

Här är den:

the Gossip Girl prequel

”It had to be you”

Cecily von Ziegesar

For nobody else, gave me a thrill – with all your faults, I love you still.

It had to be you, wonderful you, it had to be you.

                                - As sung by Frank Sinatra

Step into the world of the rich and fabulous.

Blair Waldof, Serena van der Woodsen and Nate Archibald are the three best friends since kinder garden. But there’s a lot more to this story then that. Blair is insane in love with Nate. And she imagined how it would be to have him for herself. How it would be to kiss him and might even do more then that.

Serena is also in love with Nate but she is secretly in love. And what about Nate? Who does he like, or is it love?

Serena is the most gorgeous girl on the Upper East Side of New York City. With her long blond hair and blue eyes. She’s thin and long. Blair is also wonderful, she got brown hair and brown eyes. She is shorter but she’s beautiful. They both are. Lucky Nate. But who’s he going to chose?

Dan and Jenny Humphrey are brothers and sisters. They are close and one thing they got in common is Serena. They love her, both of them. The only problem is: She doesn’t know they exist. Dan’s a good writer, he writes poems and all of them are to Serena.

Nothing hurt until you pushed me, hard, and I fell.

And I’m falling still. Still falling.

Can’t you see me from up there? The water’s clear.

It’s becoming – no, I’m becoming

Clearer and clearer still.

Can’t you see me?

And once he gave one to her. As an anonymous. And he figured she might understand that it was him who wrote it. But how could she? They had never talk.

Dan and Vanessa Abrams meet at a party on Valentine’s day. No, actually they did meet outside. The door got locked so they couldn’t get back in. And they took of, going to a cafe to start their friend ship.

My opinion

I think it’s a good book to entertain yourself with if you’re bored or tired and don’t want something complicate. I like drama. But the one bad thing with it is that it don’t have one big subject. But in the end I wanted to know who Nate was going to choose. But in a big part of the book I wasn’t so thrilled to reach the end. I think it’s a good written book and it’s easy to understand it even if you don’t know every word. I have seen the TV series of Gossip Girl so I know how the characters look like and act. I do really like the book but I think it’s better on the TV.

bye bye

Jag vill inget heller än att krama dig,

men det är inte så det funkar...

Jag vill vara dig nära.

Ingen annan ser det,

men vi båda vet...

Vi ser varan,

Du vet att jag vet,

men det funkar inte så.

Vi behöver mer än signaler.

Signalerna funkade i början,

men sedan blir man osäker...

Tänker att man tolkade signalen fel.

Jag vet

att jag inte

gjorde det,

Men jag blir ändå osäker.

Jag ser dig.

Du ser mig.

Varför är det så svårt.

Allt jag vill är ju att krama dig,

vara dig nära.

Känna din lukt,

höra dina andetag,

kamma ditt lena hår

med mina fingrar.

Det är allt

jag

vill.

"Hallo, were are you?”

”I’m in my room.”

I went upstairs into Chads bedroom. He was sitting in front of his computer but when he saw me he turned it off, and came forward to me. I looked at him, in his gray eyes, read lips and his blond disheveled hair. I loved how he smiled at me, every time we were alone. He took my arm, sat himself on his bed and me on his knees. He looked at me like I was the only one in the whole world who matters. And I loved the way he made me feel, like he was the only one who matters. Like what’s happen tomorrow don’t mean anything because we’re together now. And then, he kissed me. For the last time.

I didn’t now it then. Because he was just supposed to move, from Florida to south Carolina

It was a year ago now, I haven’t heard from him since then. I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t say exactly what. In the beginning I thought about him a lot and wondered why he didn’t call. You can say I was pretty much brooked. Totally. It felt kind of natural after a while, I just stopped thinking about him one day and realized that what I thought was going to last for ever, was over. And I didn’t miss it. Last night a had a dream about him, it felt weird to think about him after all this time he hadn’t been in my life.

In my dream we stood looking out over the ocean, he was holding me. It was the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen and we heard the waves beat against the shore. I turned around and faced him, I saw his eyes, lips and his disheveled hair. Nothing had changed except that he wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were fixed on the horizon. I tried to move, but I coudn’t. His whole body were fixed. I was stuck. Then I woke up.

What’s that suppose to mean? What had happened to him. It came a cold wave over me, and I remembered how much I loved him back then. A tear fell down on my pillow. I stayed in my bed all day, just thinking. It was such a long time ago. But I remembered everything clearly.

I went up of my bed and made some food, when I started eating I felt how hungry I was. I hadn’t eat in the whole day and it had start become dark outside. I finished my breakfast-dinner or whatever you call it. I took on some worm clothes and went outside, I had no idea about were I was going, but I needed to get some fresh air.

My head was spinning, all this questions I didn’t know the answer on came up in my head again. I hadn’t tried to contact you except calling. But you hadn’t answer any of my calls. I lifted my eyes and found me standing outside your old house. It was six months since last time I was here. It felt familiar but still so distant. Your old door were now painted red and the new owner had plant two apple trees in the left side of the garden. Then I saw that it was somebody standing in the window was waving at me. She stopped when I saw her. I realized that I had stand locking at the house for a long time. I started to walk again. I took up my phone, looked at your number. I didn’t know if it would be strange to call, or it would be. And you wouldn’t answer anyway so I didn’t matters. But I called. I started feel tickling in my stomach. I had never been nervous about talking to you before. The tones were in a steady rhythm in the headset. No one pick up.

Then I turned home again, I started to move faster. It felt like somebody was watching me. I looked around but I didn’t saw anyone.

When I came home my phone rang. I was on my way to ignore it, because it had been such a weird day. And my head were still spinning. I didn’t know if I could take more bad news. But something told me to pick up. And I did.

“Hi”

“Hi”

“Who is it” I didn’t recognize his voice.

“It’s me... You know, Chad...”

I could barely breath, of course. Now I heard. It was him. It felt like nothing had change in my heart, I still loved him. I thought I was all over it, but I wasn’t.

Jag sitter i hopkurad

med en filt runt om mig.

Ändå fryser jag för jag sitter och tänker

på dig

 du gör mig kall.

Du borde göra mig varm, glad och lätt.

Du borde krama om mig

när jag fryser,

du borde

trösta mig när jag gråter.

Men istället gjorde du mig

besviken, kall och ensam.

Jag såg ingen annan än

dig,

Förstod du inte det?

Varför slutade du se mig?

Inget du säger kan skada mig

längre.

För du är bara kyla

för mig.

Och jag har hunnit med riktigt mycket, även fast dagen har känts kort. Jag har hunnit med att ha två franska lektioner, bild, No och matte. Jag, Linn och Felix gick hem till Linn och åt spagetti med smör xD Så det kändes som om vi inte varit på lunch när bilden var slut (första lektionen efter lunch) Och som om dagen gått snabbt. När jag kom hem så bytte jag om direkt till träningskläder och jogga 5km i ganska lugnt tempo. Duscha åt middag bytte om till träningskläder igen och drog iväg på pump... Jag säger bara det, suck. Imorgon kommer jag inte kunna gå och i övermorgon kommer det att vara värre! Men jag får kämpa på! Och det är Västra på torsdag. Jag gick hem från pumpen och det kändes så härligt så när jag kom hem lämnade jag väskan och tog headsetet och gick en extra liten sväng.

Och jag har kommit igång! Härlig känsla. Det är jobbigast dom två första dagarna, kommer med all säkerhet att kännas jobbigt efter det å. Men inte som i början. När man bara har ångest för att man måste träna men känner sig jätte dålig och skjuter på träningen så det inte blir så mycket när man tänker tillbaka på veckan.

From me to you

You can't see it

but I'm smiling

You don't know

how happy I am

right now

Cuz you ain't here

With me

I can't share my feeling with you

Cuz you don't dare

you don't dare to feel

me

But you want

ooh

 you want to feel it

so badly

No, I promes I won't.

What is that feeling I feel?

The one in my heart,

will it never go away?

It hurts...

Oh, it hurts so much.

Especilly when I'm sitting here

 all alone.

Especilly when I'm thinking

about You.

When I know that right know

You're laughing.

And I'm sitting here hurting...

Crying...

For You.

Becuze

I

Need You

I

Love You

"I know I don't

I know I should

I know you want to

I just can't see 

way?

I guess I don't wanna see

Cuz it easier

but it's not better,

It's never get's better

If you don't

see!"